Dying to Live
WHERE AM I ? my sister asked as her consciousness shifted in and out of this physical world.
You are on a journey. Yes she whispered, I am beginning a new adventure. Yes you are I softly replied looking deep into her half open eyes. Less than four days after that exchange would she be departing from this reality.
There is always a new beginning where there is an end she continued . They don’t teach us that do they I replied.. No she whispered but I am at a new beginning .
At that point I felt that my sister had reached an integration within herself of the natural cycles of life death and rebirth. She was beginning to transit between the world of Spirit and matter. A while and several spaces later an attempt to move her arm failed ..These bodies of ours I said, good job they have a spirit inside . Well! Was the unanticipated direct response they wouldn’t work without one..
She was also very aware of her transitioning from one dimension to another. and despite falling into sleep and the otherworld frequently she was very responsive to discourse of the spiritual journey.
Three days later , that is less than 12 hours before she left this world when she was in the otherworld most of the time. Speaking to those that we cannot see. Still I get her attention more than several times. Come visit me when you have left this body. I will, she said very distinctly and assuredly, I promise.
She knew. She was almost there. I knew too.That was to be our last share the in the bodies and the world as we have known them this time round. My big sister departed this realm 5 hours later.
In my very much honoured experience of sharing the process of death there is always a point , very near to the end when the person departing sees and speaks with beings that we cannot see and speaks of things seemingly unrelated to their physical environment and company. It doesn’t mean that just because we cannot see what they can that it is not there. Or that because to us their words make no sense that in where and what they are experiencing they make total sense. It is very common for someone who is near to the end of their life to see already departed family members and friends. Animal spirits , music, and fragrance can also be experienced on the approach of death. It is here , at this point in their journey that they have clearly let go of burdens and attachments to the physical world. I actually had a conversation with mum very soon after she had passed. Her body was laid out and I could hear her speaking in my head. She was surprised I could hear her. Probably just as surprised as I was that I could hear her. During the course of our short exchange my dear friend with whom I have shared very many moons saw a figure over her body and a stream of energy coming from my third eye centre to the crown of the energy shape. She witness the figure starting to disappear when we were saying goodbye.
Every death is an individual journey and will be as diverse and unique as we all all. I am just relating my own experiences around the death process.
I would also like to share at this juncture that my sisters grand daughter 9 years of age, who was exceptionally close to her grandma, was included throughout her whole process. My heart and goes out to her family who , despite what the mainstream opinion and the collective western conditioning may be on such matters , did what they felt was best for the child allowed her access until the very end.
How resentful to say the least could she have felt if she had been discluded from her beloved grandmas natural process. To be taken away from the process would be far more damaging to her psychologically I feel than sharing the experience of her grandmas death could ever be. Now there is closure for her and space to grieve.
It is a sad bordering tragic fact that the subject of death and dying has been shrouded in and clouded by fear. A tabooed subject that has the place of being the number one fear of our culture. A fear of the inevitable Rite of Passage that we will all take obscures perhaps a natural acceptance . Maybe if we as children, were taught of the sacredness and the inextricable link between life and death ,death and rebirth, and were included in any Death passage of family and friends instead of being ushered away from any mention of the word , then it is highly probable that not only when the time came for either ourselves or our loved ones to leave would we be much clearer from emotive reactions , which, take up precious time and energy, we would also by default respond much sooner with acceptance calmness and a comfort in the knowing and understanding of the souls journey… we would almost certainly also have a greater appreciation of life and how we would best make the most of our experience in time of a lifetime.
This does not negate any feelings we have of sadness grief and loss. Of course we feel sadness and grief at the passing of a loves one. However emotional reactions such as panic, anger, fear, anxiety for example most likely stem from the way we been culturally indoctrinated . The indoctrination that has no mention of us as self empowering , immortal spiritual beings, with a physical body. The indoctrination that has no mention of the continuing cycles of life death and rebirth . The indoctrination that that doesn’t recognise that we all go through many death and rebirths in this physical life and certainly no teachings or offerings of experiences of personal initiations and Rites of Passage at special and poignant times in an individuals journey of life, self development and awareness. If we all grew up with death being understood in a way that many indigenous tribes have throughout the ages , with teachings and experience of our connection with spirit, and a cultivating of a deeper connection with ourselves and our environment it would make our feelings and experiences of life, death and rebirth, a whole lot more wholesome and integral.. Indeed dying and death would be perceived and understood in such a way that potentially most, if not all the fears that are collectively held surrounding the death process would be all but non existent.
The different aspects to the fear we hold around death are many. These fears are a massive blocks that prevent us from living our life in a more balanced and healthy sense of being. We don’t want to speak of our inevitable death as it means we have to confront our fears. When we are aware of and confront our fears we realise that they are built on belief structures. Belief structures keep us stuck in a limited mode of being which end up causing us dis ease. Maybe some of the collective fear around death comes from a feeling that we haven’t been living our life to the fullest. That is to say giving our time and energy to what we feel for us is really important and maybe the individual is not ready or willing to do the self development work to enable and cultivate a way of life that is deeper than how we exist when we are beholden to fear. It is true that many a comforting habits and lifestyle are partners with fear and not everyone wants to come out of their comfort zone and sacrifice certain things in order to gain a deeper connection to oneself, the environment and the world of spirit and energy. It is not for everyone. It is however another sad fact that finding out what really is important to us sometimes does not come until our ow Rite of Passage starts knocking on our door.
Oft there is not the luxury of time to say farewells. Time to go through the process of emotional reaction, settlement, and acceptance as we approach our death or that of loved ones. In sharing the death process there is an opportunity to alleviate any initial emotional reaction we may experience on knowing that time is limited and to make the most of time left in this world.
It is not the things that have been done in ones lifetime that is most commonly lamented at the time of death, but rather the things that have not.
I feel, and in my own experience that if the subject of death is spoken about, explored discussed and worked through, on many different levels , a lot of the fears surrounding the death process dissolve. Speaking and exploring death is not morbid or depressing. It an abilty to respond to, and take responsibility for, our life. That is a responsibility to come out of the false comfort zone of brushing death under the carpet so we can live life with a greater awareness . This is a major aspect of any self development work.
There are now many of us that are promoting greater and deeper aspects, sharings , and understandings of the experience and subject around death than has ever been previously available.
There are Soul Midwifes offering their skilled gifts of assisting in the death transition. Offering emotional and spiritual assistance to ease ones journey back out of this world. They accompany the departing soul in finding settlement and peace to make their journey easy and without attachment to this world.
There is a group called Transitious. Not only do Transitious have a directory of people that assist in the death process, they also hold very interesting open to the public yearly gatherings that include talks, and information on very many aspects of death that have until now not readily been available.
The Natural Death Centre has a book published which is a mine of information that we wouldn’t otherwise know. It covers all practical aspects of the death process .Care for the dying at home, Organising inexpensive , environmentally friendly funerals, woodland burials, Wills and advanced funeral wishes, and a whole load more of extremely useful and enlightening information . A must have for anyone wishing and intending to take at least some responsibility for arrangements and information regarding the Death process that are outside of the mainstream box .
There are also very many interesting Spiritual and or Psychedelic conferences that explore the nature of consciousness and the passage of life death and rebirth.
There one thing that we can be certain of and that is the fact that one day our bodies will cease to be, they will die, and our spirit, our consciousness ,will shift away from this world and transition into another reality.
If we can Live with a greater acceptance and understanding of dying, then dying can give us a greater quality and experience of life .
Blessings and Love to one and all.
Hazel of the Grove x
Summer Solstice 2015 Cultivating response ability, unconditional Love, and, Compassion
Since the death of my mother in 2007 my Shamanic work has naturally diversed into working with the dying. An aspect that has been brewing and developing within me since that time is how the subject of death when acknowledged and explored on different levels can allow us move through unconscious and limiting belief structures, and to therefore be of great assistance in allowing us to live more consciously,. To cultivate awareness and appreciation, transcending our conditioning of false superficial damaging lifestyles and habits is one of the greatest gifts to ourselves and our environment.